I remember trying to help my kids with their math lesson. The problem was that, when I was at school, I was a grade 10 student; with honors and everything. But, in my early twenties, I endeavored to give them the help they needed.
Because I didn’t practice my math skills after I finished my studies, I ended up forgetting most of them. However, helping them now and then has brought a lot of knowledge back to my mind. It only took a little work and memory, instead of relearning everything again.
They say that the same thing happens with exercise. Your muscles remember your most fit state and even if you stop exercising, when you start over, your body relearns how to be in shape and it takes less time to do it because it has been in good shape before.
I believe that love behaves the same way. We hear so much about couples who “drifted away”. They lost the understanding and harmony that their marriage once had. But what could be learned in marriage as well as in mathematics or physical exercise?
What is needed is before you and it probably looks scary. Still, step by step, the couple can work together, doing the exercises and homework to help them remember where and how they started.
Here are some recommended steps when you want to relearn how to love:
1. Remember
Spend time truly remembering your courtship and marriage. If there is a souvenir album or diary, read them. Close your eyes and relive the memorable date. What made you love this person?
2. Forgive
If you have been wronged, forgive. If it was unfair, ask for forgiveness. Leave the past behind.
3. Communicate your desire to renew your marriage
Get rid of phrases and thoughts like, “I married you, didn’t I?” and “Do you know how I feel,” and questions like, “What were we thinking?” Instead, say, “I love you because”And“ I married you because I couldn’t imagine waking up every day and not seeing your face or hearing your voice ”, and“ I know what I was thinking and how anxious we were to start our life together, and I never regret any moment of my decision. ”
4. Be honest without hurting others
If something specific is bothering you, speak up, but without harsh accusations. Use “I” statements. “I feel loved when you”Or“ I would be really happy if you didn’t mind changing one thing: . ”
5. Think only of your spouse
During periods of marital stress, it is not uncommon to start thinking about someone else. Change those thoughts when they come and think about your spouses
6. Never speak ill of your spouse to anyone
You will attract dangerous attention by doing so and aggravate the problem in your own mind.
7. If you need to face a flirt,
let the person know that you are true to your spouse and say something affectionate about him and why you are with him.
8. Win over your spouse
Go back to square one and do the things you did to win him over. Give small gifts. Make a special meal. Invite him to go out once a week, even if it is just to do the shopping together.
9. Self-examination
It is quite normal for you to see your own changes and think that your spouse has not changed at all or vice versa. Look at the changes in what made you suffer, the progress you have made, and the tests that you have endured together.
If you are at a wedding that seems to be falling apart around you, take a brick and put it back. Do your part. Exercise your desire to keep it intact. You can relearn to love.